The other day
I took my
my first swim of the year
At Hampstead Heath men’s pond

The last leg of my journey there
Is the overground
Highbury & Islington
To Gospel Oak

I was listening on my headphones
To A live recording of the Bob Dylan song
‘Simple Twist of Fate’
Performed by the Jerry Garcia Band

This version
Is over 13 minutes long

I was still listening
after I exited the station
After I walked towards the entrance to the Heath
after I walked past the lido
To where the playing fields tease the full expanse of the park

Hampstead Heath is my favourite park in London
And the men’s pond is my favourite place in London

I had lived here over 8 years
before I took my first swim in the men’s pond
But now it has become my summer companion
As well the occasional winter dip
When I’m in need of ice bath shock therapy to relieve stress

As I made my way to the pond
I was having a nibble
A light snack
I know you’re not supposed to eat before swimming
But I needed just a little something
to avoid the potential distraction of hunger
While swimming

I don’t want anything
Pulling my thoughts away from the pleasure
The emptiness
The pleasure of the emptiness
Of being in those green waters

And so
I was eating a carrot

I eat a carrot daily
It’s my portable healthy snack of choice
sometimes I feel self-conscious
Say, When I leave the house on my way to work
Crunching a carrot
Self-conscious In a way I doubt I would if it were an apple
Or banana
Those traditional hand-sized portable snacks
Is it because one thinks of Bugs Bunny
When they see a person crunching a raw carrot

Either way
Imagine my surprise and, yes, attraction
When I saw a person walking my way along the path
Also eating raw carrot

They were eating from a bag of cut carrot pieces
Which somehow did look more carrot-normative
And yet it still struck me as unusual
To see someone eating carrot on-the-go
Not as part of a picnic
Not in conjunction with hummus
simply walking while eating raw carrot

That we were both
Walking along munching carrot
How could i not think
Soulmates
And it wasn’t just the romantic surroundings of Hampstead Heath
Or the chance of us both passing at that exact moment
That made this moment so loaded with meaning
It was The soundtrack
coming through my headphones

When people would ask
How we met
I would begin by referring them to
‘Garcia Live Volume 11’

A recording of the Jerry Garcia Band’s set
From November 11th 1993
At the Providence Civic Center, Rhode Island

Jerry Garcia
The founding member of the Grateful Dead
Led the Jerry Garcia Band concurrently
From the 1970s until his death in 1995

There’s a soulful quality about this outfit
I appreciate
I’ve found myself returning to their Bob Dylan covers
Specifically Bob Dylan ballads

I think this stems from a recent phase I’ve gone through
revisiting Jeff Buckley

Jeff Buckley
As well as being a gifted songwriter
was an inspired interpreter of other’s music
And his archive of live and studio recordings
Includes many Dylan compositions

There’s a long history of musicians
interpreting Dylan’s music so successfully
that theirs become definitive versions
‘Mr Tambourine Man’ by the Byrds
‘Make You Feel My Love’ by Adele

I guess There’s a sense with
Dylan of his songs being gifts
He puts out albums
Recorded and performed in his inimitable way
That can then be picked up and picked apart by others

One might say the same about Leonard Cohen
Who as well as being similarly gruff-voiced to Dylan
Frequently Favoured an idiosyncratic
Toy-synth production for his material

The quality of both their songwriting
Transcends choices made in the studio
That might arguably be contentious
It is is songwriting that begs others to have a go
Yes, that frequently means softening the edges
But also expanding the musical horizons
Both instrumentally and vocally

As far back as 1988
Leonard Cohen sang
“I was born with the gift of a golden voice.”

I happen to like the croak of Bob Dylan
His is the voice of an old man
And while it is customary for old rockers to deny and defy their age
there is a gradual movement to appreciating art
That in every way reflects the truth of age
In Both its richness and frailty
A recent example: Joni Mitchell’s return to the stage

And throughout his career Bob Dylan seems to have relished
The limits of his voice

Limits sounds negative
Rather, the borders

One of my Dylan faves is 2010’s ‘Duquesne Whistle’
Throughout its jazzy shuffle
Dylan hits some truly horrific notes
And I respect that these are the takes he went with
that Those cracked and grating phrases
Are The keepers

Jeff Buckley’s
Live at Sin-é album
includes a number of Dylan covers

I love the way Jeff Buckley loses himself in a song
And I love the soulful fusion of his vocals
With the guitar

Worth noting
Live at Sin-é was recorded in 1993
The same year that the Jerry Garcia concert took place

To my ears
There is a connection between
Jeff Buckley and Jerry Garcia’s
Guitar sound
a similar shimmer
a light echo
Something happens Under their touch
Both natural and otherworldly

Jeff Buckley’s solo performances
Are a kind of improvisation with himself
An improvisation fuelled by the audience

Jerry Garcia’s solos are intricate conversations
with his bandmates
He scales the heights in his improvisations
Searching to locate the music’s emotional centre

It’s what makes his takes on Dylan
So compelling
The songs become almost like duels
Between Dylan’s words and Garcia’s music

Garcia’s voice is gentler, smoother than Dylan’s
But not decadent
The voice is human
While the guitarwork is sublime

There are parallels in this respect
With that other otherworldly guitarist
Vini Reilly of the Durutti Column

Vini Reilly’s great champion
Factory Records impresario Tony Wilson
Was not a fan of his singing
He preferred it when Reilly kept his music instrumental

But I like his voice
Sure His vocals are earthbound
Almost reluctant
But this complements a guitar playing
That is anything but earthbound

I hear a throughline
Between the playing of Reilly, Garcia and Buckley

Shimmering, singing, dancing phrases

‘Simple Twist of Fate’
Is the Dylan cover by Jerry Garcia that I return to the most

The others I enjoy
But would almost prefer with less vocals

There can be something deflating about the moment
when the Jerry Garcia Band’s inspired soloing
gives way to a sung chorus
I’m thinking specifically of
‘I Shall Be Released’ and ‘Forever Young’

Bob Dylan’s recent concert movie
‘Shadow Kingdom’
Recorded during lockdown
Features his own interpretation of his own standard
‘Forever Young’

Over the years this is one that has acquired
something of the open mic about it
When I think of ‘Forever Young’
I think of A choir of emotional men
Wailing ‘Forever Young’ over and over

In ‘Shadow Kingdom’
Dylan Eliminates the chorus altogether
it feels leaner, more emotive as a result

‘Simple Twist of Fate’ is a journey song
the verses are chapters of a relationship
Each verse ends
Without the kiss off
Of a chorus
Instead
They hit us simply with the line
‘Simple Twist of Fate’

In Jerry Garcia’s version
The sung verses provide islands between his band’s
Instrumental explorations of the song’s content
Each solo going deep into the lyrical terrain

Towards the end
There is a long stuttering bass solo
that kills all momentum

Maybe it conveys the grinding
stalling conclusion to a relationship

the melody is almost completely lost during this interlude
Before the band
in one sweep
brings it together
Garcia returns to sing at his most powerful
And it swells into something triumphal, cathartic
The supernova of a relationship
All wrapped up in a music loaded with emotion

This then was inside my head at the very moment
Of carrot synchronicity

I was living my very own simple twist of fate

So did I do it
Did I tear off my headphones and say
“Excuse me..”
I would have shown them my half-eaten carrot
I wouldn’t have to say another word
This was destiny

But no
I did not do that
not because I am happily married
(A happily married man will always tell himself
He could be happilier married)
it wasn’t that
That fact was
And I’m reluctant to say this out loud
To put it on the web for all eternity
But if you’ve made it this far
You deserve total integrity and accountability
And for me not to self-censor or obfuscate
Oh gosh
I’m procrastinating
The fact is
The reason I didn’t snatch my very own
Simple twist of fate
Is
I needed a shit

There
I said it
I’m sorry you had to hear that
But that’s just where we’re at in this story

I needed a shit

And while no one wants to need a shit
While they’re out of the house
Maybe this natural urge
saved my marriage

For instead of sparking carrot romance
I marched on
In search of a toilet

Being in a park
I knew there would be toilets

But also
being in a park
I knew these toilets would be grim

I decided my safest option would be the toilets
At the men’s pond

While I had pissed in these before
I had never had had a shit there

I’m not going to claim that they are exalting toilets
The facilities are basic
They have a shed-like quality
But My thinking was that this toilet would be
more maintained both by staff and visitors
Who are generally respectful of the facilities at the pond

That is not to say I was looking forward to my experience

Once I got to the men’s pond
I hung my bag in the changing area
One wants to have as few encumbrances as possible
In a toilet
Where you don’t know what the status will be
regarding hooks, locks etcetera

I returned to the toilets but as I did
A man also exiting the changing area went in to the toilet
Ahead of me and entered the cubicle
He was there for an open-door standing slash
I often wonder why men prefer a cubicle slash
There were 2 other cubicles but these were both locked
One suspects permanently
I presume that they are used as storage cupboards

So while the man in the cubicle took his interminable slash
I went to the urinal and had a slash
And then another man came in for a slash
I couldn’t hang around there forever
So I went outside the toilet and loitered
Pretending to do something on my phone

Finally the cubicle pisser exited and I went into the cubicle

it wasn’t in a terrible state
Thank god

But then I discovered the cubicle was tiny
With the door locked and closed
There was barely room for me to move
as I set about constructing a toilet-tissue seat to protect my bum
From disease

I was glad therefore that I had had the foresight
To deposit my bag
As that would have made the procedure impossible

Next I discovered another unusual aspect of the cubicle
the door was…how to say…reduced
Almost as if The top and bottom had been severed
It was like a saloon door
So that when I was standing my head was fully revealed
And one could easily see my legs from the calves down

You’ve guessed it
it was an anti-sex toilet

I later looked at the architecture
From outside of the cubicle
And saw that the saloon door was an add-on
Built approximately half way into the original cubicle

Its design was so that only one person could feasibly fit inside
And the saloon door further assured then there was visual privacy
Only for a solitary man on the toilet

I am against hostile architecture
But is it not also hostile to be using a cubicle for lovemaking
When a person is in need of a shit
But then what about the other 2 cubicles
Could they not be refurbished and made available for shitting
So that there was at least one dedicated lovemaking cubicle
But is not the rest of the heath
A haven for physical affection
but is not the men’s pond
Historically the very centre of lust

And ultimately is not all hostile architecture bad
In that In the pursuit of solving some purported problem
It makes all our lives a little more uncomfortable

For example, in this case a shit must be taken
in wildly exposed circumstances
Without the comfort of a little room

Needless to say
after the morning I’d just had I was more than ready for my swim
And it was
as it always is
Exquisite