The search for meaning are you lost

by Paul Haworth

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‘The search for meaning are you lost’ is a cantata. Combining sung and spoken words. Words about losing direction. I’m calling it a cantata because it isn’t an album or mixtape – it is a vocal composition in several movements. Best enjoyed through headphones.


Are you lost
I have to ask again
Are you lost

You look lost and you look dizzy
Looking at ancient objects
Names spiral
Described like a rectangle
With a wider based that curves inwards
Do you know what I mean

The search for meaning
Words that once came easy
Barges on the Stour
Old Sarum
Near Salisbury

A yellow book
Full of rules
A grandfather clock

Are you lost
In a city
Aged 35
It shows
Your name in lights
Those red lights at the top of cranes
Like stars
Are those lights distractions
Is that a trumpet in the distance

The trumpet carries on
Like it knows what year it is
Do you
Do you know where you are
Far from where I want to be

This whole decade faked
Faked and found in notebooks
Little looks
Scraps and secret meet-ups

If you lead me down a dark path
Where the love lost I’ll find
Then I won’t ask
I won’t ask
I’m not even going to ask you
I promised I wouldn’t ask

How old is Archie Panjabi

I broke a glass
Dad was mad
Like it was a most precious glass
It made me sad

The search for meaning
Green bottles in the sea
I waved but you didn’t see me

Doing what you love
Loving what you do

Archie Panjabi is 45
I know everything

The search for meaning
There were good times

Is this tunnel a tunnel of love
Where it leads
Are you lost
The milk tastes bad
I hope I get the job
Will I die unfulfilled
Filled with yearning
Returning to bed
Have you read
Not interested
What I said
Can’t remember
What led to
It’s all gone Pete Tong

It’s all gone Pete Tong
Can you describe your symptoms
I prescribe my never-ending song
My song

A never-ending song
Sung to Liverpool Street beauties having a snog
In the wrong City of London
The wrong city
Where luxury living rises high
Reinventing renting
Ending in McDonald’s
I have a voucher
1.99 for a burger and fries
I have a voucher
Aged 35
Where two pints is an hour of my life
The cost of living
What’s that like

Oh, you naughty boy

The naughty boy cries happy tears

Love to my saviour
No one is greater
Divine maker
Earthly creator

Free cake
Free cake
What kind
Black Forest gateaux
The search for meaning
An advert for Dave
The search for meaning
Adult bookshops

Queens kings
Presidents prime ministers
Generals bishops
Patron saints
I am Saint Paul
Am I god
I am royal blood
Am I your father
Your national father

Are you listening
Father: Hello. This is your father. Hello, hello. Can you hear me? Hello. This is your father.
Respect him
Son: Daddy, you’re embarrassing. Are you drunk?
Father: One drink.
Son: Oh daddy.
Father: Can I not have one drink? Why don’t you love me.
Son: (That’s the thing about dad. Doesn’t take much to push him and then it’s why-don’t-you-love-me time.) Why didn’t you pick me up?
Father: I didn’t confirm. I didn’t confirm. You need to confirm plans. You know that.
Son: I texted last night.
Father: Texts, emails. How do expect me to keep up?
Son: You replied.
Father: Oh did I?
Son: I can show you if you like.
Father: That won’t be necessary.
Son: Well?
Father: Well what?
Son: Why didn’t you pick me up?
Father: Why don’t you love me? Why don’t you tell me that first

Love to my saviour
I sing your song
I sing to you
Now not now next time
Maybe eventually losing my mind
I sing I will
Whatever words come next

What’s this
An old shopping list
Onions, Celery, Carrot, Tomatoes, Mince beef, White wine
Somebody’s making Bolognese

Why wasn’t this winter like the last
The gaps got bigger between the laughs
Why do I do this to you
Why don’t you love me
Why don’t you love me
Why do we never talk
Maybe it’s too late
I mean
I speak and I can write
Think before I speak and re-write my never-ending song
The one that goes
Love to my saviour
No one is greater
Divine maker
Earthly creator

A living rock
My heart might beat
But never stop

Never stop
Loving my saviour
Losing my keys
There must be a collection somewhere
Keys for chests, rooms, handcuffs, cabinets and other stuff that locks

Are you lost
Are you young
Sure the best is yet to come
Oh love your parents
But how they worry
You’re going nowhere
And it’s like you’re in no hurry
You’re in no hurry


released November 26, 2017


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Paul Haworth London, UK

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